Golf, Omelets and the High Cost of the American Dream...

by Donald Murray Sr. on Tuesday, November 6, 2012 at 7:23am ·

I have just recently returned to Ecuador from a mostly-stealthy trip to the states. Had to do a routine medical visit to keep my V.A. docs happy, did some shopping as directed by the Pocket Babe and snagged my paragliding canopy while I was there. Glad to be back home in Ecuador and thanks to those few who knew I was leaving for keeping an eye on the Pocket Babe for me while I was away. Common sense dictated that I shouldn’t advertise the fact that I’d be out of the country for a week.

 

Diane and I talked about what I had been missing and what I might want to do, once back in the states. Before I left, I honestly couldn't think of anything at all. There were no special restaurants or activities that I had been missing. In fact, I found my return to be mostly frustrating!! I landed in Miami, rented a car and drove north to the Tampa area. The traffic was absolutely horrible!!!! Many cases of complete gridlock on I-75 and I-95; nothing moving for nearly an hour in one case. I had the opportunity to practice my newly developed patience! 

 

The prices for everything were shocking! In only 6 months, I had already forgotten! Gasoline at about $3.40 per gallon compared to $1.45 in Ecuador. Lunch with a Diet Coke for $12 compared to about $4 for a comparable lunch in Ecuador. The non-stop hustle and the omnipresent "hurrying" that was everywhere I looked was so very disturbing to me. I now looked at all those who were scurrying about  like cockroaches and wanted to sit them down in front of me, slap them hard in the face and remind them how short life really is. I wanted to tell them to stop selling so much of their precious time to their bosses. I wanted to shake them and tell them to get off the hamster wheel, say no to the advertising agencies who want you to buy the newest iphone or the latest gizmo so you can “be successful.” What a load of crap!

 

I awakened early one morning, about 5 o’clock. I was staying north of Tampa, at the secluded, vacant lake-house of a close friend who had offered this great place to stay while I was in town. A foggy, heavy mist covered the water as 5 geese swam lazily near the shore. I stepped outside, inhaling the crisp morning air. I am definitely not a city guy and this was very peaceful. In fact, this was the lake where Diane and I had lived before moving to Ecuador. No sign of the sun yet. I was hungry and thought I’d slip over to the Waffle House a few miles away. I quickly shaved after a hot shower, dressed and jumped into the rental car, now focused on a spinach and tomato omelet only a few minutes away.

 

I walked inside and was greeted by a couple of the hard-working women behind the counter. I had chosen to wear my Vietnam Air Force Veteran hat, proudly proclaiming my Geezer status. I snagged a seat at the counter and asked for a large tomato juice and the aforementioned omelet. A table of 4 guys in their early 40’s and dressed for an obvious day on the golf course said hello and, noticing my hat, thanked me for my service. We began to talk.

 

“Looks like you guys are headed out for some golf today.”

 

“Yeah…got time to play 18 but have a business thing this evening”, said one of the guys.

 

“I remember those days”, I lamented. “There was never enough time.”

 

“You retired now?”

 

“Yeah, in Ecuador”

 

“Ecuador? Why Ecuador?”

 

I began to tell them “why Ecuador” and what my life was like before retirement with 70 hour weeks, 23 offices to run, spread sheets, Board meetings, side businesses and a stress level that was off the charts!

 

I began to describe the culture I had discovered in South America…a culture that values family over work and places making a profit secondary to other things that are more important.

 

“Yes”, I said...there are other things more important than making a profit. They invited me to join them at their table as these young American business hustlers began to describe their lives and their levels of stress and anxiety. The stress and unhappiness poured from them like pus from an infected wound.

 

It was familiar on many levels; First, because in them, I saw the former me. We discussed the prime directive that drives the American business model, “MAKE MORE MONEY”. We discussed that model as it pertains to the pharmaceutical companies and the existing for-profit health care model in the United States as well as the corporate greed present in the petroleum industry and the banking industry. Their confessions of stress and dissatisfaction continued to pour from them for the next 45 minutes. They had, indeed, sold their lives to their employers, now barely finding time for their wives and children. They had fallen into the trap and saw a glimmer of hope from our conversation. They had fancy cars and nice homes and were in debt beyond belief, forcing them to remain on the hamster wheel. Their wives were also working as is the norm. These guys were not exceptional in this way.

 

They listened carefully as I described a different way and they asked intelligent questions. It was as if they had never considered a different life. They had been successfully programmed and were doing what was expected by our culture.

 

I’m not sure that one needs to leave the United States to make different lifestyle choices permitting more free time, more family time and less stress. In fact, I’m pretty sure one can definitely make those choices anywhere they live. It is, perhaps, a counter-culture mindset in the United States but is the mainstream culture in other places. I am not saying it is easy. With the constant bombardment of information encouraging one to remain on the hamster wheel, it takes a leap of faith to jump off. But it’s right there for the taking.

 

The guys left later than they should have to make their Tee time and they all wanted my email address. They aren’t ready to retire but they are looking for another way…another life. Like I said, it’s right there for the taking but I’m afraid that greed will win out over all else for most. Many believe that the acquisition of “stuff” is the key to happiness. I’m certainly not the first to suggest otherwise as many others have said the same thing many times before.

 

As I cleared customs and immigration last night in Quito, there was one person working to clear our plane load of some 350 people and all their luggage and declarations. The line moved rather quickly considering! As my turn approached, I noticed that no baggage was being examined by hand and the one person who was working was simply giving the x-ray machine a quick glance every now and then as he continued to feed pieces of luggage into the front of the machine. I snagged all my bags, and my paraglider canopy as they squirted out the back side of the x-ray machine and headed out to catch a cab, grateful to be back home where some things just aren’t that important…but the right stuff is! I can already feel myself slowing down again to merge with the pace of this culture.  Ahhhhhhhhhhhh….. home!